Category: Dating and Relationships
Ok, trying this again since it didn't post. Have you ever been led on by someone? And how did you deal with it? I'm just curious really because I have been there twice. The first time I was devestated. The second time it wasn't as bad. All I did was ask myself a bunch of questions. Curious to hear your input and stories.
Yes i have been engaged and I was naive enough to believe that she loved me totally,then a week before our wedding she dropped the bombshell that she had been having a long affair with a mutual friend of ours.We are both bisexual and the fact that she had been seeing someone of the same sex made the whole episode more painful its 1 thing to find out you've become unattractive to your intended,but to know that she preferred a female was really hurtful to my male pride .
Understandably it took me quite a while to recover from the shock ect and i was less than enthusiastic about starting over with someone else,but after fantastic support from family and friends,i did indeed move on and eventually left behind the anger and thoughts of what if?.
I've been led on, but I seem to repeat myself in a lot of these topics and because of people on this website and the fact that blindvi knows my story, I'll just leave things at that. If you want to know more, quicknote or pm me or MSN me or whatever you choose
I've also posted in this topic a or I mean on this pariticular board about how it happened to me too, how women led me on and used me for money, just one of the examples, after a pritty long relationship, a girl finally, admitted to me that she didn't like me at all, but she just was with me for my money and because she hoped that I'd be buying her anything she wants, when she relised that I'm not that stupid and tht I actually do want a girlfriend she confessed and that was that, naturally I was quite hurt..also in another relationship I was in love with the girl from US, I was even very close to moving, or at least temporarilly or as long as it's legaly possible, just a few weeks before I decided to book my flight she told me that she actually loes someone else and that I shouldn't bother..there were other instances, but I don't really want to go in to it..ask me and I might tell you, depending on who you are...
I know exactly how you feel on that one. I met someone at the Rehab Center for the Blind, when I was there about a year and a half ago, and he decided to admit to me after we had been together about a month that his sorry ass was married.
And the whole time we were together, he was talking all this shit, telling me he wanted to have kids with me, but I continuously told him I wasn't ready for that yet. He probably figured by then since I wouldn't give him sex, that he may as well come clean with me.
And to make matters worse, I ended up meeting his wife, just before I left the center, and it was all I could do not to tell her everything.
The only reason I didn't tell her, was because I figured since he was the one who screwed up, he should be the one to tell her.
Plus, there would always be the possibility that she wouldn't believe me, and he could deny it all, and all she would have was his word against mine, and she didn't know me that well, so go figure. So, I just left it at that and figured he'll get his justice eventually, and I'm sure some day he will.
i was with a girl over the summer. i knew she'd been with a guy for over 2 years but they'd split up a year before we got together. within three weeks, i'd met all her friends, her parents had invited me to stay which i did for 4 days, met her entire family, and we were talking about longterm stuff such as engagement in 6 months yada yada. on the month to the day that we got together, she called me on my mobile from her x's bedroom ending it and telling me she'd had a change of heart. I thaught i meant more than that to her grr! oh well, ancient history. i've moved on, i just hope she's happy.
I find it interesting that the majority of the posts on this board are by men. Perhaps that says something. Women often critysise guys for being judgmental, picky, shallow, superficial, etc, when perhaps it is that they are blunt, tactless, but also honest enough to break something off if they are not truly attracted emotionally or physically. Whereas women will pretend, ignoring or pretending to ignore a lack of chemestry or the lack of an emotional connection so that they can get money, status or unconditional regard from a man. No real basis for this in the psychological or scientific sense, but simply something that occurred to me and I felt compelled to share.
yeah I've been lead on by women before. most recently, I dated a woman for just over 2 months, and she got pregnant with my kid. At first I was devistated, because I never wanted kids for the first 26 and a half years of my life, and I still didn't want one when I found out she was pregnant. but after the shock wore off, I was actually getting excited about the idea of being a father, and 3 weeks after her pregnancy was confirmed, she suddenly woke up one morning, and decided that she didn't want to be with me anymore, and promptly left. we had a really good relationship, and I was well on my way to actually ....dare I say it? Having feelings of love for her and thinking that it might just possibly end up a long lasting and serious relationship. But now a days, she refuses to answer my phonecalls or emails, she has my number blocked and anonimous caller rejection on her line, so my only option now is to take her to court when the baby is born and fight for joined custity.
I will not just sit back and accept the fact that she used me apparently as a sperm doaner. I admit I've done some really stupid things in my time, but I'm fully prepared to take responsibility for my son/daughter now. It's just too bad that some women do lead guys on, make them think they want them around for a long term relationship, and then fuck them over.
Now, I'm not saying that guys aren't guilty of playing such games either, because I'm fully aware that we are sometimes. It just sucks when it happens to you, and to be used financially is one thing, but to realize you've been used as nothing more than a sperm doaner is quite another.
So, ...yeah.
not just women, men lead us women on as well. It's happened to me countless times, and I swore to god! that it would never happen again! but it did. I only have myself to blame though, cause I opened up my heart to them, and they just threw it back at me. I've had it all happen, from one guy cheating on me with his ex, to another telling me after the relationship that he is, and always was gay, and just wanted to kno what it was like to be with a woman. I think in the 5 actuall relationships I've ever had, all of them led me on, and had fun at my expence when they broke my heart. Only 1 was ever sorry that he did it, the rest just laughed, and said that I was "an easy target", and yes, some even used my blindness as an excuse for leading me on. before I finish this, only 2 of my relationships were zoners, and before anyone says anything, I'm talking about actual "I love you" relationships. I never "loved" Lutherk, I couldn't.
Liz do you think Chris will do this to me? Reading the post scared me!
Well, you go Shark, never thought you'd be that responsible, which apparently proves me wrong, best of luck with the kids stuff. Haing a kid is tons of work but it's also a lot of fun and really a fantastic experience and for the kid having both parents care about you wnat talking to each other I think is very important, realize it's not always ideal but if it can be done it should be done, as long as the parents can act civilly in front of each other.
As for the leading on, I've done some and been victim of some, not particularly proud of either. sometimes honesty is just really hard both to give and to take. But it's a fact, whether you are one of the world's most rich and famous or just a regular Joe some relationships work, some don't and once you 100% realize they won't you need to do yourself and the other person the favor of being honest about it and giving it up, it's better than trying to make the person happy by pretending to yourself and said person that everything is all right. Lots of us find what we're seaking in the end, I, for one, just got married and couldn't be happier, but, naturally, for some it just takes quite a few tries, some may be lucky right off the bat, either way you just have to keep trying.
Hope, I don't kno if he will or not. that's between you and him, and if the post scared you, then talk to him.
Luckily, I've only been cheated on while I was at school and it didn't seem that much of a big deal to me as I was only young and obviously wasn't properly in love. Now I know what true love feels like however, I'd be devistated if it happened to me. Trust is a valuable thing...
Well I have some trust problems when it comes to guys. Because when I was18, and I was dating this guy who told me a whole bunch of lies to get in to my pants. Well as a dumb ass I be leaved him. And he told me that he loved me. And then when we went on a camping trip with his family and we were out in the woods. I let myself be leave that he cared and some other stuff like that. But the point of the story was that after he took my virginity he stood up and said; don’t tell anyone about this, we will just be friends with benefits. I felt so used at that moment and I didn’t cry, but I really wanted to. the hole time ix was on the trip. so ever sense that day I have been wairy of menand there motives. I’ll just say this I have been working on trust with in my family and with my dating relationships. So I will say this for me in a relationship I would say trust is my big thing. And I think that go’s for all of us too. Smile well by for now
aww, poor danielle! That's gotta be the ultimate betrayal! What you have to realize is that not all guys are like that, and for us guys, not all girls are out to screw us over either. I'm trying to get that through my thick skull myself, but good for you for realizing you have trust issues and trying to work on them!
well i will say in every relationship it's different so i have to start all over but i'm getting better at it. smile!
yeah, after what happened to me, I have trust issues, but am really trying not to let it effect relationships that I have.
shit, I've gotten screwed over by a couple of girls.
mostly for the same reason. I dated for about 2/4 months with one of them. evrything was going great. but then I woke up one day to check my messages, and there it is. "ray, I don't think I can continue with you anymore. I have moved on and found someone else." "mahal na mahal kita, sige na." (I love you, now I have to go)
I was so hurt aftir that, I didn't know what to do. well it's been two years since that happened and since then, I have been more carefull in looking for the rite person.